Protestant Action Force defend burning of bus

In an explosive interview, the ‘Protestant Action Force’ who claimed responsibility for the hijack and burning of the bus in Newtownards yesterday showed no remorse for their actions and threaten more is to come.

Interviewed in a secret location as they try to evade arrest after the incident yesterday, they doubled down on their opposition to the NI protocol and dismissed any suggestion of remorse.

Q. Do you feel your actions hijacking and burning a bus were justified?

“Well, we’re not sorry for what we’ve done. Not only will this show the E.U. that we mean business, we’ve also really put Newtownards on the map. We’ll no longer be called the Sewer of North Down. Now we will be known as the epicentre of P-U-L opposition to the NI protocol.”

Q. How do you feel about the trauma and distress caused to the driver during the attack?

He should be happy we dragged him from the bus as he went about his work, so he should. My mate went off work on stress after being assaulted. He got full pay, and Translink will sort this guy out too. My friend only had 5-6 years of counselling and he was right as rain.”

Q. The NI Protocol has been in place for quite some time. Why choose now for this attack?

“We’ve always been huge fans of the Leaders of Unionism. We have all of their albums and never miss a show. Jeffrey gave this as the date for the Protocol to be cancelled, or there’d be action.

I was a bit disappointed the Leaders of Unionism never reply to my letters or watsapps, and don’t really get in touch except when they need to get a crowd out, but hopefully they’ll write to us after this.

The Protocol must go. There can not be a border between fellow British citizens. I have no doubt her majesty the Queen is fucking rage about it all.”

There was a brief argument between the two representatives of the PAF when one of them accidentally used the other’s real name. After asking me to promise I wouldn’t publish the name or tell anybody we continued.

Q. The Leaders of Unionism have totally condemned your actions. How can you suggest you did this because of them?

[Edit: At this point both men burst our laughing and repeatedly winked at me then said the words] “Wink, Wink – Nudge, Nudge” while continuing to wink then finished with “Condemnation, wink”.

Q. Can the people of Northern Ireland expect more of these attacks?

“We have BIG [the speaker asked me to emphasise big] plans for the future. We’re modelling our tactics on those Insulate Britain people. Now obviously they’re wackos like, going on about that climate stuff, but they get publicity.

We’re hoping to make all of our actions traffic related too. We tried glue ourselves to the road last week, but we used my wee girls PVA glue from her school pencil case and it was sh*te. Didn’t stick hands to the road at all. It was a messy nightmare, fuck sake”.

There will be no surrender and no peace until the Protocol is crushed. Or at least until an alternative is agreed that we’re told is ok to agree with”.

Q. Why the use of ‘Protestant’ in your name when this is a political, not a religious issue?

“We had wanted to call ourselves prods again.. I mean Protestants Against The N.I. Protocol Forever- P.A.N.I.P.F. Some of the lads had trouble remembering all the letters, and spelling protocol is a bastard to be honest. So we agreed on P.A.F.”

But come on, don’t play dumb. It is the protestant people who are being sh*t upon by Republicans. This is the Sinn Fein Protocol”.

Q. It was actually the British Government with the acceptance of Unionist leaders who agreed the Brexit deal. What’s changed?

“It was who? Ack your head is full of sweetie mice. Everybody knows the E.U. is simply a Sinn Fein puppet. It’s E.U./IRA. The protestant, Unionist, Loyalist people will accept no more.”

Sadly it looks like more attacks can be expected in the near future. The leadership of the P.A.F. suggest they have up to 7 men willing to commit violence in opposition to the Protocol. This will increase to 8 in the near future when one of their members, “Barney”, comes off the nightshift and is available.

Political leadership is required to defuse the tension. We will report further with information as we get it.


Author: MJS Writing

Writer, Blogger, Freelancer, Content Writer. Progressive, Inspired by those who want to improve the lives of others. Twitter: @mjscribbles

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