License Plate Carries out Sectarian Attack in Belfast

A watching crowd were left in total shock when a license plate carried out a sectarian attack before being restrained, and eventually burnt, by the victim.

Local resident Mervyn Pillow seen the whole thing unfold from start to finish.

“Well I had just got myself a KFC – Zinger box meal with coke, if you’re wondering. I was walking along eating it and minding my own business when I heard a sectarian slur being shouted. I looked up and a license plate – that looked foreign – shouted ‘Up The ‘Ra’ and ‘I love the NI Protocol’ then lunged at a man in a Rangers Top.”

When asked to confirm if he was actually saying a license plate had shouted something then lunged at a man, he continued.

“Swear to god, yes. Couldn’t believe it. Most sectarian license plate I’ve ever seen. It was just lucky there was no loss of life today. Well obviously except for the license plate and the car it was attached to.

A crowd heard the commotion and ran out of the Rangers Club to subdue the attacker, and lucky they did. Although I was in shock myself I was just able to set my KFC down on a bench and get a few boots in to the wee b*tard. It wouldn’t stop though, it was like a license plate possessed.”

When we asked the P.S.N.I. officer at the scene about Mervyn’s claims, he put his head in his hands and asked us to go home.

Mervyn stuck by his story and explained that he didn’t have any issues with foreign license plates, as long as they keep themselves to themselves.

“No, I’ve never had a problem with fenian license plates. I’ve friends at work who are foreign, but this one had been radicalised. I thank god that ‘Whitey’ McComb who drinks in the Rangers club happened to have a container of petrol on him that he doused the license plate with and burnt it.

The license plate gave out an almighty last squeal and shouted protocoooooooool. A wee bit like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart.”

Local community workers have asked people to be vigilante, and to keep an eye on their kids. They are advising under no circumstances should anybody approach any foreign license plates. They should all be assumed to be dangerous and unpredictable.

Community Worker Cokey Williams claimed the community was on edge.

“This has been a terrifying ordeal for all those attacked by the license plate, and for the entire Protestant community. The worry now that this is not a lone wolf attack, and that the license plate may be working as part of a co-ordinated terrorist cell. We’re having a community vigil tonight to pray together for no further attacks”.

Police have appealed for anybody with information to contact them.


Author: MJS Writing

Writer, Blogger, Freelancer, Content Writer. Progressive, Inspired by those who want to improve the lives of others. Twitter: @mjscribbles

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