Sinn Fein Leader in Northern Ireland, Michelle O’Neill, suggested that her party may consider returning all of their MLA salaries for the past 6 months.
When asked why this was being considered, Ms. O’Neill spoke about the difficulties within both main Unionist parties.
“Without suggesting that our team of MLAs are not ready to work, or up to the work, it feels like the salary is unearned.” She continued.
“Given the troubles Jeffrey Donaldson has had with his double jobbing request, and just a shambles of a party really, it doesn’t feel like we have political opponents right now. When they screw everything up for themselves, we’ll just let them tear away. To put it bluntly, we’ve really been doing fuck all squared.”
“We’ve had a couple of students in releasing a few half hearted statements, but really what’s the point? If we say or do too much we’ll end up making a mess of something like the Unionists have done.”
“Even the big puppy dog, Doug Beattie of the UUP, turns out he’s a misogynist and a racist. Who knew. Just shows, you can like a man’s beard, but still think he’s a gobshite. The only positive for him is his leadership lasted longer than Edwin Poots.”
“Lucky in some ways I guess – even Sinn Fein being Anti-Fox Hunting in the 26 counties and voting to retain fox-hunting in the 6 counties barely registered. Even when we’re shit, we’ll never be as bad as the Unionists.”
Sinn Fein say they have made no concrete decision on the matter and will vote on the issue at a meeting of their Northern Ireland leadership by the end of the week.
Some comments from other Sinn Fein reps have suggested other options have been considered with the funds, including a huge ‘political training event’ for all Sinn Fein members – to take place in Ibiza.
Also under consideration is to commission an artist to create a huge 40 foot bronze statue of Gerry Adams, which would replace the ‘balls on the falls’ at Broadway roundabout. Sources though say the cost of security for the statue may prove prohibitive.”
When questioned on whether they would consider something similar an SDLP spokesman said they are not currently considering to return any salaries.
“There is a cost of living crisis. In the Stormont canteen the price of fresh cream buns has increased from £1.10 to £1.90 within the last 2 months. In such uncertain times it would be negligent of us to expect our MLA team to absorb these additional costs. They added “We don’t all get to have £500 a seat fundraising dinners with business leaders”.
Other parties at Stormont were unavailable to officially comment though two Unionist MLAs – who wished to remain anonymous – said they would be suggesting the ‘saying nothing is the best policy’ to their respective parties at the earliest opportunity. One of who said “If only we’d heard about this policy before now we ‘d have saved a whole lot of bother…”.